Dad is needed
Papa's role can't be
overlooked, says growing pro-fatherhood movement
by Memorie Knox |
(FinalCall.com)�The
U.S. is the world�s leader of fatherless families, say advocates in a
national movement to support the often difficult task of fatherhood.
Black, Latino and communities of color in America must lead the way to
reverse the cycle, many believe.
Chicago Congressman Danny K. Davis (D-Ill.), who
spearheaded a Fathers Issues Forum and Resource Fair in early June,
recently co-sponsored two fatherhood bills in the House.
One is designed to help facilitate the re-entry of
fathers into the lives of their families and children. The other
supports the efforts and activities of individuals, organizations and
institutions that honor fatherhood on Father�s Day, June 17.
President Bush brought attention to the importance of
fathers June 8, during the National Summit on Fatherhood in Washington,
D.C. The Republican wants to spend $64 million on federal grants to
community and faith-based groups to give men training in employment,
parenting and making marriage work. In addition, his 2002 budget would
earmark an additional $300 million for a current program that helps
state social service agencies keep families together.
More than 400 mostly Black men joined Rep. Davis and
a host of local, state and national leaders at Malcolm X College during
a June 2 fathers summit, where they discussed the barriers to
fatherhood, criminal record expungement, fathers� rights and concerns,
effective parenting, child support and addiction recovery and renewal.
According to Rep. Davis, a father of two, government
reports say children from fatherless homes account for 63 percent of
youth suicides, 71 percent of pregnant teens, 90 percent of homeless and
runaway youth, 5 percent of all children that exhibit behavioral
disorders, 85 percent of youth in prisons and 71 percent of youth that
haven�t completed high school.
"We must help fathers find the joy and delight of the
experience of fatherhood. We are saying to brothers, just because you
went to the penitentiary, or don�t visit because you don�t have any
money, that doesn�t mean you can�t be a father. Picking a little child
up, holding him or her and giving them a kiss, might mean more than
money or a new toy. No man has a greater gift than to give of himself,"
Rep. Davis said.
During the summit, fathers� many of whom brought
their children�and leaders shared their experiences, frustrations, as
well as their expertise.
Daughters of fatherless families are 900 percent more
likely to become victims of sexual abuse and rape, said Jeffery Leving,
a Chicago attorney who has fought for the rights of fathers for more
than 20 years. It is not the presence of a biological father that puts
little girls at risk, it is the absence of fathers, he explained.
"People believe that the fathers are biological
necessities, but social accidents. It is clear that positive father
involvement reduces child poverty and abuse. For too long, it�s been
politically correct to demonize fathers and to sponsor legislation that
works somewhat punitively towards fathers. Look how fatherlessness has
hurt our children. We must help more dads to become involved fathers and
prepare their children for the future," Atty. Leving said.
Fathers want rights respected
Kevin Davis, a Black single parent of three, told
The Final Call his requests for child support over the past
three years have been repeatedly denied.
"I have a bitter taste in the my mouth because the
system is biased against men. I work full time at my job and at home. I
deserve some support too," Mr. Davis said. He is also indicative of a
growing number of single fathers caring for children. Census figures
show 2.2 million men are primary caretakers for children under age 18.
That�s a 62 percent increase since 1990.
Many men who were paying child support cited
insensitivity to their rights and needs as fathers.
Black male representatives of child support agencies
told them the system is recognizing financial collection alone is not
effective anymore.
There are two types of dads that child support
agencies work with, said Joseph Mason, of the Child Support Enforcement
Division of the Illinois Department of Public Aid. Those who are
deadbeat are those who are dead broke, he said.
"Agencies are now working with fathers to
revolutionize child support with referral-based services for employment,
education and substance abuse, to make sure that the entire family is
serviced," he said. "There are some dads who don�t have the resources to
provide for their families. As we continue to reach out to the
community, we realize that fathers are an integral part of the family
equation. It�s really about the children and putting them first to
strengthen families," Mr. Mason explained.
Fathers complain that their custody rights are
routinely ignored and the American Coalition of Fathers & Children held
nationwide protests June 5 to draw attention to the problem.
Demonstrations were held in 199 U.S. cities.
During the Chicago summit, Christopher Moore of the
city Urban League�s Male Involvement Program introduced an 11-point plan
supporting all aspects of child support. It includes the demand for
suitable housing, basic education and establishing paternity.
Men must be career oriented, registered voters,
mindful of their culture, oppose violence, respect women, respect
themselves and educate their children for total empowerment, Mr. Moore
said.
"We as leaders must stand for something or die for
nothing. One of our great revolutionaries said, �give me liberty or give
me death� and the only impression that counts is the one you leave on
the community," Mr. Moore said.
Douglas Lavingston, a 24-year-old father of one son,
agrees. A former drug dealer jailed for three years, Mr. Lavingston said
incarceration was a wake up call.
"I am supporting my child in all ways�through love,
honesty, commitment and dedication. Fatherhood is a learning experience
and we must support each other. I didn�t have a father in my life and I
must be concerned for my son so he won�t have to go through what I did,"
Mr. Lavingston said.
Men with felony records, like Mr. Lavingston, are not
throwaways, argued Bobbie Steele, a Black Chicago commissioner.
"Family is the foundation on which community is
built. The country cannot be a strong country unless it has strong
families. The family has suffered a great fall, and it can be put back
together. We must start by supporting our fathers and bring them back
into the fold. We know that our men live in a society where the cards
have been stacked against them and now we need a system that respects
men," Commissioner Steele said.
Many men find it difficult to resume their role as
dad after incarceration, conceded Roderick Irving, a 40-year-old father
of three. But it can be done, he told The Final Call.
"I�m not living with my children, but I�m really
trying to get involved in their lives. Although I have a criminal
background, I work and pay child support on a regular basis. It�s hard,
but my children come first. Now, I place an emphasis on education. I
want a better future for my children and myself," Mr. Irving said.
Fathers should and can successfully remain connected
to their children, even if they become incarcerated, said Dr. Randell D.
Turner, Ph.D., vice president of state and local initiatives for the
National Fatherhood Initiative.
The Maryland-based group has been hailed for
developing and implementing the "Incarcerated Fatherhood Initiative," a
father-child bonding program built on regular communication. The program
is in use in 126 prisons nationwide.
"The perception is that when men go to prison,
they�re not interested in being a father. Some of the best fathers I
know, are those that are incarcerated," said Mr. Turner.
"There is a way to stay connected and fathers are
learning that children will survive physical distance, but won�t survive
emotional distance. Prison is also a teachable moment for many men,
where they think about what they can do to make their lives and the
lives of their children, better," he continued.
"We must begin talking to them about ways that they
can become better fathers and develop a support system to deal with
their angers and issues surrounding their lives and just being dads,"
Dr. Turner told The Final Call.
Similar to the Chicago summit, 300 delegates recently
gathered for a Baltimore Fatherhood Summit. It was one of several
planned for different venues across the state.
Among the programs praised by Mayor Martin O�Malley
and others was the Center for Fathers, Families and Workforce
Development, led by activist Joe Jones.
"It is important to remember that all (risk factors)
can be softened if the children have a strong family support that
includes positive influences from fathers�even when they don�t live in
their children�s homes," he said.
Some aren�t sure programs like Mr. Jones� and others
that focus on teaching men to be responsible fathers are working. But,
they concede, falling rates for Black teen fathers and increased
attention to the issue are good signs.
Activists like Mr. Jones are moving ahead anyway,
pressing to help men who often weren�t nurtured themselves to nurture
their own children.
Though racism, failed government policies, anti-Black
stereotypes and society�s idea of what fatherhood is are challenging,
activists say they won�t stop.
"Simply put, without fathers who are actively engaged
in the lives of their children, we are only setting ourselves up for
failure," said Sheila Gaskins, of the Empower Baltimore Management
Corporation.
(D. Morton Glover contributed to this report from
Baltimore.)
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