WEB POSTED 09-11-2001

And, believe it or not - we survived!

Upon receiving a tongue-in-cheek fax from my closest friend, Brother Nuri in Los Angeles, my first thought was to share it with the family of FINAL CALL readers. A minimum of editing was required, but the juice is still there:

"All born in 1935 or before are advised not to read this, as they might be permanently confused or straightened out.

"We are survivors! Consider the changes we have witnessed: We were born before television, before penicillin, before polio shots, frozen food, Xerox, plastic, contact lenses, frisbees and The Pill."

"We were born before radar, credit cards, split atoms, laser beams and ballpoint pens. Before pantyhose, dishwashers, clothes dryers, electric blankets, air conditioners, drip-dry clothes, and before Man walked on the moon.

"We got married first, and then lived together (How quaint can you be?)

"In our time, closets were for clothes, not for coming out of. Bunnies were small rabbits, and rabbits were not Volkswagens. "Designer Jeans" were scheming girls named "Jean", and having a "meaningful relationship" meant getting along well with our cousins.

"We thought �fast food� was what you ate during Lent, and "outer space" was the back of the Lincoln Theater. We were before �house-husbands, gay rights, computer dating, dual careers and commuter marriages.� We were before daycare centers, group therapy and nursing homes.

"We never heard of FM Radio, tape decks, electric typewriters, artificial hearts, word processors nor yogurt � nor guys wearing earrings. For us, "time-sharing" meant togetherness, not computers or condominiums. A chip meant a piece of wood. �Hardware� meant hardware, and �software� wasn�t even a word.

"In 1940, �Made in Japan� meant junk, and the term �making out� referred to how you did on your exams. �Pizzas �McDonald�s� and �instant coffee� were unheard of. We hit the scene when there were 5-and-10 cent stores, where you bought things for a nickel or a dime. For one nickel, you could ride a streetcar, make a phone call, buy a Pepsi or enough stamps to mail one letter and two post cards. You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600, but who could afford one? A pity, too, because gas was only 11 cents a gallon.

"In our day, cigarette smoking was fashionable � �grass� was mowed, �coke� was a cold drink and �pot� was something you cooked in. �Rock� music was a Grandma�s lullaby, and "AIDS" were helpers in the Principal�s Office.

"We were certainly not before the difference between the sexes was discovered, but we were surely before the sex change! We made do with what we had, and we were the last generation that was so dumb as to think you needed a husband to have a baby!

"No wonder we are so confused and there is such a generation gap today! BUT WE SURVIVED! What better reason to celebrate?"