WEB POSTED 12-08-1999

You're 2 Krazy!

traveler.gif (23743 bytes)The cover of the November 28th issue of PARADE magazine says most of it, if not all. It consists of a picture of an infant squatting in front of what appears to be a computer screen, and the seat of his diaper�his lone garment�is imprinted with the large letters "Y2K." This photo was designed especially to appeal to those of us who recognize that the Y2K theories are just as full as that diaper�and of the same thing.

This is not to say that many technologically-dependent devices may not malfunction to varying degrees, come the new year, but it will be because of scientific miscalculation, rather than Divine Decree. As columnist Mary Schmich wrote recently in the CHICAGO TRIBUNE, "�Millennium� by any definition is an arbitrary human invention. So why can�t we reinvent it to match our party plans?"

A newscaster on CNN had just finished reporting the fact that with all the coverage of the anticipated "millennium," there were thousands of instances of misspellings. Just as he spoke, my eyes fell upon a listing in the TV GUIDE, a one-hour millennium special on CNN, wherein it was misspelled.

This is in no way a denial that there may be problems, come January One�and severe problems, at that. This is a denial of the lie that the problems will be caused by universal reactions to the supposed anniversary of the birth of Christ. If you will notice, every supposedly impending disaster is controlled or regulated by man-made mechanical and/or electronic means, and, because of the constant drive to modernize, they all involve some type of computers. And it is these which are running out of time!

This brings to mind a rather obvious question�what did these technological geniuses know, think they knew, or at least agree upon, that would make them so certain that humanity would only need these survival devices and materials for a specific period, which, theoretically, is near its end?

Or, maybe they knew better. A November 17 Associated Press dispatch out of Washington begins, "The government said today that the cost of repairing the Year 2000 computer problem would be $100 billion, or $365 for each man, woman and child in the United States."

Israeli officials are reportedly already on the alert for Christians who may be planning attacks or mass suicides, according to the November 29th issue of TIME. The same issue points out that, "Because of early calendar miscalculations, Christ�s actual birthdate is several years �B.C.�" The same article further declares that, according to the Hebrew calendar it is now 5760, and the new year starts in September; while it is 1420 according to the Islamic calendar and the new year begins in April.

According to TIME essayist Christopher Buckley, we need to "Forget computer bugs. Worry about PMS (Post-Millennial Syndrome)."


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