WEB
POSTED 12-08-1999
You're
2 Krazy!
The
cover of the November 28th issue of PARADE magazine says most of it,
if not all. It consists of a picture of an infant squatting in front
of what appears to be a computer screen, and the seat of his diaper�his
lone garment�is imprinted with the large letters "Y2K."
This photo was designed especially to appeal to those of us who
recognize that the Y2K theories are just as full as that diaper�and
of the same thing.
This is not to say that many technologically-dependent devices may
not malfunction to varying degrees, come the new year, but it will be
because of scientific miscalculation, rather than Divine Decree. As
columnist Mary Schmich wrote recently in the CHICAGO TRIBUNE,
"�Millennium� by any definition is an arbitrary human
invention. So why can�t we reinvent it to match our party
plans?"
A newscaster on CNN had just finished reporting the fact that with
all the coverage of the anticipated "millennium," there were
thousands of instances of misspellings. Just as he spoke, my eyes fell
upon a listing in the TV GUIDE, a one-hour millennium special
on CNN, wherein it was misspelled.
This is in no way a denial that there may be problems, come January
One�and severe problems, at that. This is a denial of the lie that
the problems will be caused by universal reactions to the supposed
anniversary of the birth of Christ. If you will notice, every
supposedly impending disaster is controlled or regulated by man-made
mechanical and/or electronic means, and, because of the constant drive
to modernize, they all involve some type of computers. And it is these
which are running out of time!
This brings to mind a rather obvious question�what did these
technological geniuses know, think they knew, or at least agree upon,
that would make them so certain that humanity would only need these
survival devices and materials for a specific period, which,
theoretically, is near its end?
Or, maybe they knew better. A November 17 Associated Press dispatch
out of Washington begins, "The government said today that the
cost of repairing the Year 2000 computer problem would be $100
billion, or $365 for each man, woman and child in the United
States."
Israeli officials are reportedly already on the alert for
Christians who may be planning attacks or mass suicides, according to
the November 29th issue of TIME. The same issue points out
that, "Because of early calendar miscalculations, Christ�s
actual birthdate is several years �B.C.�" The same article
further declares that, according to the Hebrew calendar it is now
5760, and the new year starts in September; while it is 1420 according
to the Islamic calendar and the new year begins in April.
According to TIME essayist Christopher Buckley, we need to
"Forget computer bugs. Worry about PMS (Post-Millennial
Syndrome)." |