Black Girls Rock! Building our self-esteem

By Laila Muhammad | Last updated: Dec 17, 2012 - 1:23:16 PM

(FinalCall.com) - Standing in line of any supermarket in America, walking by news stands on the way to work, sitting on a train looking at the walls, driving down the expressway, or standing at a bus stop; you will see numerous billboards, magazines, posters, and ads promoting the Western view on what beauty is.

Laila Muhammad

Somehow we as black women and girls have bought into the hype. This idea of beauty is somehow equated to the color of one’s skin, the length and texture of one’s hair, the bone structure of one’s face. Most images display tall thin Caucasian or non-Black women with thin facial features as the standard of beauty.

As children, as soon as we begin to walk, speak and get a glimpse of the world through images on TV, or dolls in stores, we become conscious or aware of the standard of beauty presented to us. As adult women, most of us have been raised in a culture where the less pigmentation or melanin you have in your skin, the more beautiful you are, and the more accepted you will be. The straighter your hair, the better chances of success in this capitalist society. Like many Black women before us, we have at some point in time tapered our look to be more acceptable to White society. When going on job interviews, we press or straighten naturals, pull hair back into a pony- tail, wear soft neutral colors, and go easy on the makeup to mimic this so-called standard of beauty, to seem less threatening—as if our kinky hair and broad facial features are threats to White America. But what kind of statement are we sending to our daughters who are watching our every move?

Are we saying, my Black skin isn’t beautiful? That being yourself in a world that’s constantly pushing you to be someone else is right? That is the wrong message, but it’s never too late to admit our faults, and try again. We need to break the chains of generational lies that say Blackness is a curse.

Self-esteem is a term in psychology used to reflect a person’s overall emotional evaluation of his or her own defined as one’s self-worth, how an individual views him or herself. It is an attitude toward the self, and a judgment of oneself. It encompasses beliefs and emotions.

As mothers, we battle every day to raise strong, healthy Black girls, who have a love of self and their race. We are constantly being bombarded with these false images of beauty. Black girls rock is more than a statement; it embodies all the good that women who look like you and me portray. We are mothers, daughters, sisters, nurses, doctors, teachers, wives, engineers, scientists. We have the ability to rise as high as our God-given talents. We are singers, poets, chefs, artists, and so much more! When we use the term Black girls, it is inclusive of all indigenous and original people on the face of the earth, from Latinas, to Haitians, from those on the Isles of the Pacific to the West Indies, Trinidad, the Philippines, all the African countries to the shore of the Nippon islands, and Japan. Black is Universal and oh so beautiful, it comes in many shades and hues.

We come in an array of different tones, from café au lait to mahogany all the way through caramel complexion to cappuccino; it would take a lifetime to put a name to every skin tone.

Black girls’ hair rocks! And I mean seriously! You have the ones like my four-year-old daughter who prefers to rock two afro puffs, then there are the natural curls you just wash and go. We are famous for rocking corn rows like the images of ancient African queens. Some of us wear two-strand twists, and some wear their hair straight. Then we have the bold ones who shave it all off and dangle big earrings that look more like art than jewelry. Black girls create their own unique styles. We are truly trendsetters. We bring style into every decade.

Some of us may believe we live in a post-racial America, where the color of your skin shouldn’t matter, but the content of character should. Unfortunately that’s not always the case. The Honorable Elijah Muhammad set up classes to teach exactly this concept of self-esteem, self-respect, self-regard, and so much more. We are trendsetters in our own right. We live in a society, that while not a part of our culture, is constantly trying to define it. It tries to label us only as athletes, performers, and sexual objects.

Author Marianne Williamson said it best, and I believe summed up why Black girls rock: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We are born to make manifest the glory of god that is within us. It’s not just in some of us, it is in everyone and as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

In the Nation of Islam, we live by six words: Accept your own and be yourself! May Allah bless you with the light of understanding!

Laila Muhammad is a Chicago-based writer and videographer.

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